So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i out mim tonsoeep
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