yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
