This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
