S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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