Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
