Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
