Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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