yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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