brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
