dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I don't think brook has ever known best
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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