He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Randomize
