My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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