i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
