shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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