Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
