i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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