thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
