Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
he wants to bone in the snuggie
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
