I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
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