it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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