But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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