When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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