Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
then he tried to convert me to islam
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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