So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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