I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
How's work?
Spinning.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
