How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
