I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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