It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
