Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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