I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
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My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
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That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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