My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Randomize
