no. you can't hotbox the world.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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