he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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