I think I won the penis lottery.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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