the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
