hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
