Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
