Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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