Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
This is my gift to your gina
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
