if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Dignity is for republicans.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
