My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
