im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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