Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
