Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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