they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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