nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
