A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
