It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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