I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
