I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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