Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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