Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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