Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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