Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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