Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
