I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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