just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
