Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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