My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I could have mohawked her pubes.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
