The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
try to milk me bitch
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