what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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