One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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