oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
