She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
