i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
