He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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