This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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