Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
