is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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