So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
